


Spring

by very_distinctive_flamingo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Red Room (Marvel), Relationship Study, i am so bad at tags i'm really sorry, the winter soldier and the black widow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25904794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/very_distinctive_flamingo/pseuds/very_distinctive_flamingo
Summary: In the midst of a life full of pain and fear, two people who have only ever been taught how to kill learn how to love.(Alternate title: Loving Him Was Red)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Spring

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this a while ago just to explore my idea of what bucky and natasha's relationship might've been like. i really like the idea of them finding each other and finding love despite their circumstances. i definitely wish that marvel had decided to include that relationship from the comics. disclaimer, though, i don't actually ship nat and bucky and i don't think they'd work together in real life (out of the red room, i mean). i think it would always be a relationship born simply from necessity and the need for human connection and love. anyway i hope you enjoy this cause i'm pretty proud of it!

Natasha couldn’t remember the first time she saw James, but she remembered the first time she fought him. She remembered the blur of red lights, every ache of her muscles, every blow. She savored the memory of the pain that spread through her. Each hit, every place it hurt, meant that she had found someone who could hurt her. And when she was flat on her back on the mat, his body heavy on top of her, she felt no fear, only elation. He had  _ beat _ her. No one could do that. No one had gotten in a heavy blow in years, not in training or sparring. Sure, she had been hurt during missions, but no one could fight like her. No one could beat her. That wasn’t arrogance, that was fact. Adrenaline was pumping through her veins as she stared up at the man who had beat her. He had long shaggy hair that brushed her face as he bent over her. She struggled for breath, feeling her chest protest as she drew in gasps of air. He climbed off of her and she got to her feet, ignoring the sharp pain that shot through her body. 

Madam B stepped forward, surveying them both with cold, critical eyes. Natasha shivered, the adrenaline fading. Would she be punished for losing? She held her breath as Madam B’s gaze fell on her, chilling her from the inside out and freezing the rush of fire inside of her. 

“Natalia,” she said finally. “You fought well.” Then she spun on her heel and left the room. Natasha looked at the man beside her. 

“Good fight.” He nodded and held out his hand for her to shake. She did, shivering as her warm hand met cold metal. She knew who he was. The Winter Soldier. She wasn’t surprised that he had beat her, he was their pride and joy. She was fine with that, because everyone knew that they would fall to pieces without her. She was the Black Widow. Quiet and deadly, she never left the shadows, never needed the credit. She was a ghost, a creeping spider. By the time you realized you’d been bitten, the poison was already spreading through your veins. Everyone who knew her knew she couldn’t be beaten. Only apparently, she could. It was exhilarating, to have met her match. Natasha stepped closer to the Winter Soldier. 

“What’s your name?” she asked in a low voice. She wasn’t sure why she did it. He was the Winter Soldier, HYDRA’s puppet. A killing machine. He wasn’t supposed to have a name. But she wanted to see how he would respond. He stared at her for what felt like an eternity, and even Natasha couldn’t read the look in his eyes. 

“James,” he said finally. “But he called me Bucky.”

“He?” 

The door opened, and Natasha stepped away. She walked silently through the door and didn’t spare him another glance. 

After that, Natasha fought him often. And every time, she learned something new. Every time, he beat her. And every time, she asked him a question. With her legs wrapped around his neck, he told her that he couldn’t remember where he used to live. Before he even threw his first punch, she caught him off guard and he told her that he knew he had been in love with someone but he didn’t know who it was. She asked him anything that came to her mind until he was no longer the Winter Soldier to her. He was James, the only person who fought better than her. James, who couldn’t remember his last name but knew the name of every single one of his victims. James, who never let her win but had started refusing to hurt her. And she was the only one who noticed, but she didn’t walk away from their fights limping anymore. He didn’t always go for the lowest blow anymore, didn’t fight like a machine. He fought her like a human, and she did the same for him. After all, it was only fair. 

If you asked her to pinpoint the second something changed between them, she wasn’t sure she could. It had been growing ever since she met him. They had chipped away at each other little by little, revealing the human beneath the training and amnesia. But if she thought a little longer, something stood out to her. 

There was a day when she realized she knew what he was going to do before he did it. She caught his arm as he went to hit her and kicked his feet out from under him. He was up in an instant, but by then she had heard the music. She started to dance around him, landing punches in between twirls. It was no longer a fight, it was a duet. She felt surrounded by him, felt him in her mind and knew she was in his. They fought like they were making love, as sure of the other’s body as they were of their own. She saw the red star coming towards her and ducked with a grace she hadn’t known she possessed. When she kicked his feet out from under him the second time, he didn’t get up. She was on top of him, close to him. She could smell his sweat, mingling with hers, and felt her heart beating faster than it ever had before. She had won. She was panting, breathless but she felt better than she ever had. There was something new in her, something coursing through her veins that was even better than adrenaline. 

The red lights clicked off, and they were plunged into darkness. The doors on either side of the room opened, but they both lingered, brushing against each other as they stood. This time Natasha didn’t ask a question, only whispered a time and place. Then she pulled away, walking towards the door. She tried not to look back, she really did, but when she felt his eyes on her she turned her head like it was a magnet. Her breath stuttered as their eyes met. Then the door closed, and he was gone. 

The first time he touched her with love instead of adversity, every defense she had worked so hard to build nearly crumbled. His hands caressed her body, rough and calloused but so, so tender. She buried her head in his shoulder, hoping he would understand the tears were of love and not pain. He understood. She felt his own tears dripping on her bare neck and cried harder. He held her as they cried, skin against skin that was silkier than the night air. 

She felt him everywhere, he left his mark on her in burning crimson. She was burning everywhere his hands touched; she was drowning in exaltation. She was gasping as they moved together, unsure of where one body ended and the other began. His eyes were pools of darkness that drew her in, and she couldn’t look away. She wanted to say something, to make sure he understood the beauty and gravity of the moment, but even with all the languages she knew, she couldn’t find the words. She could only hold him closer, tighter as the world exploded into fire. She could only call his name in short, shuddering gasps as she felt him clutch onto her like she was life itself. She laid her head against his chest, trembling with aftershocks. There were tears on her cheeks, mixing with sweat.

“Ты все,” she murmured.  _ You are everything.  _

“And you,” he replied in a hoarse whisper. His arm curved around her and she closed her eyes, breathing in his scent. It had been so long since she had been touched like this. Loved like this. She had almost begun to believe that it couldn’t exist. But here it was, making itself known to her, unfurling in her heart like a tender new bud in spring. He was Winter, they called her Fall. But this was a new beginning, as hesitant and beautiful as Spring. 

**Author's Note:**

> as always, i love feedback, so any that you have would be greatly appreciated :))


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